15 to 9 months before (depends on how long of an engagement you're having):
- Start a wedding folder. Put everything and anything that inspires you in here from pictures of dresses and cakes to scraps of fabric.
- Work out a budget. It's so important to know who's paying for what and how much everyone is contributing so you can know where to distribute funds (bigger dress and less food or more food and a less elaborate dress?)
- Decide who is going to be a part of your wedding party. Do you want an even number on both sides? Is his mom pressuring you to include his two female cousins? Decide who's in and who's out, and maybe figure a way to nicely tell your new mom-in-law that you're having your sorority sisters stand by you and not cousins that you've never met.
- Come up with a head count. Make lists of who's invited from both sides (get addresses). Remember that only 50-70% of invited guests will actually attend.
- Finalize a date and a venue. Are you having the ceremony and reception at the same place?
- Find an officiant. His uncle? your grandpa? your pastor? Make sure they know what's expected of them and that they tell you what they expect. (Will they be doing your pre-marital counseling?)
- Start researching photographers, music, florists, and caterers.
- Throw an engagement party! Enjoy this time with friends and family whether it's at a restaurant or someone's house and have some fun.
8 months before:
- You've researched the photographer and videographer, now it's time to book one you love.
- Choose the entertainment. Does your venue allow bands or dj's? Do they have mp3 player connection so you can save on costs?
- Meet with your favorite food providers. Does your venue allow outside catering? Does it have to be from a caterer or can your favorite restaurant or Aunt Sue bring the food?
- Go buy the dress. You can never try on too many. You'll know it's the one. Be sure to bring along your mom and a few bridesmaids and ask his mom if she'd like to come to at least one of the fittings.
- If you have guests coming from out of town be sure to book a hotel for them, preferably one that is close to your wedding venue. You're not obligated to pay for their room (be sure to coordinate with them since they are making an effort to be there for your special day).
- Register. Pick out at least 3 different stores you want to register at. This will give guests lots of options for the shower(s) and wedding.
- Launch a wedding website. This is great for people to log on to and stay updated on wedding events. You can post how your fiancé proposed, when and where you buy your dress, and of course put all important dates and events on here.
7 to 6 months before:
- Order your invitations. Custom-made or homemade? Using your own printer or handwriting them? You may want to get your girls together and throw an invitation making party. Provide champagne (not too much, no mess-ups), snacks, and lots of laughs.
- Start planning the honeymoon. Do you want relaxing, adventurous, exotic? Make sure your passports are up-to-date and schedule time at the doctor for any necessary shots.
- If you haven't already, shop for the bridesmaids' dresses. Do you want them all in the same style and color? Do you want different styles but the same color?
- Meet with the officiant and make sure everyone is on the same page and that you have all the necessary documents.
- Send out save-the-date cards or emails (becoming increasingly more popular).
- If you're having an outdoor event be sure and reserve all things necessary for that (portable toilets, eletrical equipment, chairs, tables)
- Book a florist, unless your venue includes the centerpieces and bouquets.
- Arrange transportation. Low to the ground vehicles like limos can be difficult in tighter gowns (unless you plan on changing before your departure). Maybe consider a trolley or a minbus. These can provide more an "aww" factor from your guests when you show up to the reception.
- Start composing a timeline for the day-of. How do you want to be announced? Do you want to go directly in to your first dance? If you're unsure how things should go, talk to married friends and see if they liked how their reception flowed. If you've hired a coordinator, they can suggest what they've experienced and how smoothly things have gone.
5 to 4 months before:
- Book the rehearsal dinner venue and menu.
- Check on the wedding invitations if they're still being made. Ask to see samples from your stationer and revise them, if necessary.
- Order the cake. Go to several taste testings and decide if you want each layer to be a different flavor, if you want the cake to mirror the look of your invitations, etc.
- Send a guest list(s) to whoever is throwing your shower(s) so they can start planning. You may even want to have the shower(s) during this "slow" time.
- Start looking and purchase shoes for your dress. Are you trying to avoid paying to have the dress hemmed? Does that mean you'll need 6" heels? Is your husband much taller than you? Are you going to be walking down a grass or carpet aisle? Do you want shoes you can wear again?
- Try out hairdressers and makeup artists. Make a few trial appointments (maybe on the day of one of your showers or before a big party) and take pictures so you can look back at them later and decide which will look best with your dress.
- Choose songs. Your first dance, the father/daughter dance, dinner music, dance music.
- For out of town guests plan a welcome basket to greet them in their hotel room. You may want to include an itenerary of wedding events, a list of nearby restaurants, a map of attractions, fruit, or a sweet smelling candle.
3 months before:
- Finalize the menu and flowers.
- Order your favors. Do you want something edible? Something lasting they will have for years? A candle? Lots of options that can reflect your personality and show guests that you appreciate them taking time out of their schedule to celebrate with you.
- Make a list of who you want to give toasts (aside from the usual), or you do you just want to leave the floor open for whoever to speak? Be sure to check with everyone you want to speak and be sure they're comfortable with that.
- Finalize the readings and musical interludes at the ceremony. Make sure everyone is comfortable with their assignments.
- Purchase undergarments and have your second fitting. Save any pieces that are cut off from your dress to be wrapped around your bouquet or for something sentimental later.
- Finalize the order of the ceremony and reception (if you haven't already).
- Print menu cards and/or programs, if you want. If they're not in the budget considering making them yourself on the computer.
- Purchse the rings. This will give you some time to have them resized later, if necessary.
- Send your event schedule to the necessary vendors and, again, make sure everyone is comfortable and understands how you want things to flow.
2 months before:
- Meet with the photographer and discuss shots and locations.
- Sit down with the band or dj and discuss the music on your list (come prepared with any songs you want to avoid and any must-plays).
- Send the invitations.
- Touch base with all vendors to make sure everyone is still on the same page and to answer or ask any last minute questions.
- Enjoy (not plan) a bachelorette party!
1 month before:
- Start calculating your RSVP's. You may need to call/email those you haven't heard from.
- Get your marriage license.
- Mail the rehearsal dinner invites (unless your in-laws are taking care of this themselves).
- Visit the dressmaker for your final fitting.
- If you're having a bar, make sure there's plenty to go around for all your guests.
- Send out as many final payments as you can.
- Confirm times with hair and makeup and all other vendors.
- Email and print directions for transportation vehicles (that limo or trolley driver may not have been to your venue before).
- Assign seating for the reception (if you're not doing open seating). Use sticky notes on a poster board so you don't have to erase when you move someone.
- Purchase bridesmaids gifts to present at the rehearsal dinner (this can be something to wear the day-of: jewelry, hair piece, clutch, etc.).
- Write your vows, if you're doing your own. Work on memorizing if you want to do that too.
- Get your hair cut and colored if desired.
The week of!:
- Reconfirm arrival times with vendors.
- Delegate small wedding-day tasks: who's bustling your dress? who's going to carry your things?who's in charge of getting the gifts from the venue to your house/car/etc.?
- Send a timeling to everyone in the bridal party.
- Make arrangements for the dress to be delivered or pick it up.
- Supply your photographer with a list of specific moments you want captured.
- Set aside checks and tips in envelopes for the vendors.
- Book a spa day, if only to preserve your sanity, and a mani/pedi appointment the day before.
- Send the final guest count to the caterer and the venues.
- Break in your shoes. Turn up the volume and see how they feel while dancing to "We are Family."
- Assemble and distribute the welcome baskets.
- Pack for your honeymoon.
